Three French Hens

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"Three French Hens" on the podcast YouTube channel

"Three French Hens", released on December 27, 2018,[1] is the third installment of the 12 Days of Hello Internet series. The series consists of twelve parts, released one day at a time from December 2018 to January 2019, that together serve as Hello Internet's fifth annual Christmas special and as its 116th overall episode.


He's back Hi, it's been a while. It's been a while since I've seen you Brady It's been like five seconds since I pressed stop and record again for this no don't Brady you're not supposed to you were the one complaining about this last time. Sorry. We're back We're back for boxing days boxing day. I don't yeah. What's that like? Well, this is the third day of Christmas It's like a four-dimensional box. Is it like is it a hypercube? My head it was just a smaller box after the first box. Let's call the 27th hypercube day Okay, I can go with that. It's the next level from a box. Right. All right. I like that Okay, we're here for hypercube day as everybody knows the third day of Christmas Exactly traditionally when when you would give your plumber and servants a hypercube with a present inside and they would try to Hold it and fall into another dimension for there you go that'll teach them So we have this ever diminishing Pile of cards and for a ludem in it. Yeah, we've taken a huge dent out of it with the five or so that we've read so far Should we pick another one? We should pick another one let me go for them Okay Very Christmassy card just a very typical snowy scene with a church and a Christmas tree this comes from Anna Hayley Tim I don't really know what's going on there. Do you see GP Graham Brady? Herd your request for Christmas questions while out doing a bit of fitter tron 5000 well done at the Kessik something Somewhere in Kessik Kessik's up in the north of England That's Kessik where we live now and it's pictured on the card Okay, so that's a scene from Kessik and Kessik is in the lake district. Oh a place you really should visit According to great things about it. Yeah Our question for you which often has us pondering on our many lovely walks is Do we walk in the wood or the woods? So if you're going out for a walk would you say to your parents? Mom dad, I'm going for a walk in the wood or the woods. Oh, it's the woods and yet you have a wood Don't you as well like oh, that's a lovely wood there? I would never use that phrasing to say that's a lovely wood there I have heard that phrasing would you use that phrasing? I would go with woods right but wood is an option Wood yeah, okay, I will grant wood is an option. I would never like a legitimate option Like obviously anything's an option But like I have heard it called like a wood like you know a woodland and things like that. I love you know No, but okay like say John's wood is a London, you know if you're going to use the singular You have to use the so then it's I am going for a walk in the wood I've got to say the woods no, it's the plural right? It's just one of these words where it's a plural even if it's referring to a particular wood I think something about the walks also just makes it be the woods you're going for walks in the woods These are lovely woods. This is a lovely wood I don't know it's not something I'd ever thought about before but I See conflict the singular is the more poetic and romantic way to say it if you were making a Artsy movie someone would go for a walk in the wood Right, that's what would happen there, but now regular people as plural clearly Person who sent that Christmas card and Brady looks genuinely thrown in front of me right now Like you really put a monkey ranch in his brain. I think this is now going to haunt Brady for a long time It is Let's move on. I'm okay. Let's move on. I'll think about a lighter. He's too haunted I'm afraid of mentioning fully work now because I'm afraid I'm gonna get another card that has to be deactivated I've gotten one here. Oh, oh look at this We have a very nicely hand drawn Card here, right Mary Christmas. Hello internet. There is a caveman Brady and a robot gray on top of a hot stopper I could giant hot stopper like a giant hot stopper. It looks like it's all done in pencil My robot head is also doubling as a Christmas ornament, which is a nice touch There's a bee about to land on my hand wearing a little bee Santa hat and Assign indicating the left right division that is still splitting Tim's worldwide about who's on what side? Well, there's a drawing on the back as well, Gray. Oh look at that The drawing on the back is labeled as a Sneaky CGB gray and he is declaring that he will rule the world with an iron B I mean, I guess if I had an army of those bees from that black mirror episode I could rule the world. Yeah, that is once again the only way I would accept stick tutorial power is with absolute control a bees the soges you would choose to rule the world with like But they be if I could get those robot bees from black mirror that'd be pretty good Mm-hmm, like it that'd be a pretty hard thing to beat. Yeah, you're right All right, someone's keeping track of things it has been 59 Brady hot stoppers since the last grace hot stopper hot drop So you have put down 59 hot stoppers since my last hot drop apparently that's not entirely true Like it's it's true maybe if you just follow us on Twitter or something But you did some of the hot drops on our road trip and that was the last major. Oh, that should count Yes, I think that should count. I should get credit for those hot drops some of them you did on your own You did the arby's hot drop all on your own. Yeah, I should get credit for those But in fairness one of the frustrations of being away from the internet is I have Many a time thought oh this is a great spot for a hot drop. I was like how I can't post it on Instagram So I will get back into the hot stop dropping business when I return good Brady is definitely beating me and for your own interest later Brady There's a whole bunch of hot drop statistics at the bottom there are percentages like discovery percentages and all sorts So this must be the person who runs that hot stopper Twitter account. Oh, yes Sparky the hot stopper record keeper. Yes So the question is with how plentifully hot stoppers have been dropping our supplies running low When the last stopper is dropped Will that be the end of hot drops? This is an interesting question because it may well be by the time stocks are depleted Plastic hot stoppers will be banned. They may be like legislation. I might not be able to ship them into the UK Oh, you know, that's actually an interesting question. I have a lot of that Yeah, maybe I should speak to my manufacturer now and get like a big bulk order in Before the loophole closes right this is like when we had to switch away from the traditional light bulbs Everyone was like hoarding and stucking them up. Yeah, that's that's a good question I mean, I've still got a fair number left and they're starting to actually become an annoyance because I'll often grab five or six and put them in a bag or a backpack or a pocket or thinking oh, there could be a hot stop opportunity And so now they're starting to like Infiltrate my life in this annoying way like coins down the back of a sofa Quite often when you have dogs you'll be like out somewhere at some posh place and you'll reach into the pocket of your trousers And you'll find a dog poo bag Yes from when you last went on a walk and like you start finding them all the time So I'll be like I'll be out filming someone for work and I'll reach into my camera bag to get a lens and I'll pull out like Hot stopper as well. It's like god damn these buddy hot stoppers. They're everywhere So uh, I've still got a lot of them and I also have to keep supplying uh Black stumps breast so over an adelaide So they might ask for another bag at some point. So I should get some more in I could get caught with my pants down here I will back you up on both the poo bags and the hot stoppers although I have a great idea for the poo bags What we do in the greenhouse hole because I was too getting frustrated with Every one of my jacket pockets would have like three loose poo bags in it And it's like how are these spreading all over the place and the answer is you never want to be caught without a poo bag And so you always just like grab some and stick them in your power like you tear too off And you never empty your coat at the end of the walk right exactly The solution in the gray household is you know you can get those little containers for the poo bags where they'll come out in a roll You often they're like a little bone. Yes, it's exactly a little bone shape So you can take out the poo bag But we now clip that to the leash And we just leave it clipped on the leash all the time And so this way you always know there's poo bags with me right now And this has completely eliminated the I'm finding poo bags all over my life problem Lovely But even though I have been doing fewer hot stop drops than you Just this week I had the same thought of somehow Hot stoppers are finding their ways into all these weird corners And I was digging through a box of old electrical wires And somehow at the bottom of this box was a hot stop I don't I don't understand how it's even got here But I think it's just the fact that when you hand me a bag of 100 plastic hot stoppers Even on this last trip I just grab some in my hand and put them in the bag and then like glitter They slowly spread all over the place. So yeah, I too find hot stoppers all over the place Who knows like in you know 10,000 years archaeologists will be finding them in all sorts of strange places I think especially because people find them and they slowly make their way across the whole world That the half-life of hot stoppers will be very long Do you know what I haven't heard much about yet? I've only heard limited amount about what people do with them after they find them So if you are the recipient of a hot stopper I wouldn't mind hearing from you in some way about what you've done with it Like has it been like put in some place of specialness or has it just been you know dropped in a drawer and forgotten I've seen 102 I think that have been like framed and things like that I'd like to hear what do you think most people do with them? It never even crossed my mind because I just feel it's so obvious that people treasure them Yeah, and frame them and put them in a place of honor in their house in a safe future generations Yeah, we're all into their will immediately like displayed on the wall All right, it mounted like it just it never even crossed my mind that these hot stoppers would be anything but honored rightly so All right, let's find another card here What do we got? Merry Christmas with lots of little Are they Pokemon's they're Pokemon's aren't they that is a Pokemon Christmas card? Yeah, okay, so lots of Pokemon characters on the front Beautiful beautiful handwriting. Oh wow. That's amazing This is a work of art from Murray and Vika or Vika to Graham Brady wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Hope you like the card indeed we do there's a little grayface with a Santa hat Okay Topic what do you think will be the next major age in quote marks or landmark of human civilization For example humans move from an age of no electricity into one row of electricity can be used for various functions We move from no radio to radio no TV TV We're living in an age where all human knowledge and information can be accessed from almost anywhere in the world at any time What do you think the next landmark step in our development will be that will signify the beginning of a new age Some questions opposed here. Maybe self-driving cars are standard quantum computing Complete transition to renewable energy sources global adoption of vegetarian vegan diets or other some drastically different way of life What's going to be the next one? Do you have any thought really? This is totally a question for you. This is the sort of thing I imagine you just spent hours thinking about like That's very simple very straight. Oh you just do you know? Yeah, I don't know the answer Do you want me to have a guess then before you tell me the actual answer? Well, I'm curious. What do you think? I think totally like some major change in energy production like renewable energy Or something like that doesn't involve these finite resources will be a really big change in humanity But I don't think it's necessarily the next thing Hmm Self-driving cars would be a big change in like the way humans work like well I mean, I don't know if it is obviously the answer, but I think if you're thinking of like an age Trying to think about like what would people in the future Really feel like oh my god, I can't believe they didn't have this in the same way that like electricity Where it's almost inconceivable that touches everything. Yeah, well, I do we in now internet age? Yeah, I guess I would say like pre and post internet is probably a pretty good mark for an age Yeah kind of thing like I'm always aware when I watch movies I can never not fit them all into pre-i phone and post iPhone like it's just anytime I watch a movie It's like is this before 2007 or is it after 2007? Yeah But I think maybe Probably not the next but the biggest thing that would be on the horizon for me is a bunch of the genetic technology so things like crisper and it looks like we're on the edge of some of the ability to Manipulate the human genome And that's the kind of thing that strikes me as an age That like in a thousand years people would still market like oh Before and after the printing press and then before and after humans were able to control their own genome Like with many technologies crisper might have had a couple of little stumbles But I think that might be one that comes up as like remembered in the future that like oh the moment we were able to Change our own genetics brings in a genuinely new age of human beings. I imagine most of your thoughts about this are like positive You're not like you know Frankenstein danger meddling with genome alarmist. You're more. This is great. We're gonna Or be super humans. It's just another tool. I think it would mostly be used for good Of course bad stuff would be possible. I think you would mostly be an improvement But that would be my guess for the next age. Yeah That is that is a better answer than my Fumbling in the dark well done Oh It's been a great hypercube day. Yeah, yes. Yes happy We're busy many sided hypercube day. Yes. Yeah What's we're not gonna name tomorrow after just a five dimensional cube We're running out of running out of ideas very fast I'll see you tomorrow Brady. See you tomorrow. Bye

References[edit | edit source]

  1. "Three French Hens". Hello Internet. Retrieved 27 December 2018.