H.I. No. 22: 16-hour Search for Wallpaper

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"16-hour Search for Wallpaper"
Hello Internet episode
Episode no.22
Presented by
Original release dateOctober 10, 2014 (2014-10-10)
Running time1:41:32
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"H.I. #22: 16-hour Search for Wallpaper" is the 22nd episode of Hello Internet, released on October 10th, 2014.[1] The episode additionally has two sections that were cut and uploaded to the podcast YouTube channel, entitled Seventeen and Can You Find Destin in the GREAT BARRIER REEF?.

Official Description[edit | edit source]

May you live in interesting times. Grey and Brady discuss a long Brady anecdote (stick with it people) Random Acts of Intelligence, shifty memories, breaking bad (no spoilers), live tweeting etiquette, and the nobel prize (sort of)

Also: if you can't get enough of listening to first-world dudes complaining about their objectively magic iPhones, be sure to stick around for the last 120 minutes.


Show Notes[edit | edit source]

Other[edit | edit source]

Fan Art
Did you say Audrey on Good Morning America? Well, since you instant message me a link of Audrey on Good Morning America. You could have just said... Yes, yes. You could have just said, yeah, I did. Did it everybody? Did it everybody? I have had a very interesting last couple of weeks that I can't wait to tell you about. But first we have to talk about this issue of interesting times. Because obviously in the last podcast I refer to interesting times in a relation to an anecdote that I won't even bother recalling. And I since found out I have always been using that incorrectly. I mean, I was always under the impression that to live in interesting times was a good thing. But it turns out I've been told by numerous correspondence that to say to someone, may you live in interesting times is like a curse or wishing something bad upon them. Did you know this? Was this news to you or would you have been in my camp before this? Okay, so I thought, may you live in interesting times? Was like a story goes that a king asks one of his advisors to make something that will... He wants an object that will make him happy when he is sad and it will make him sad when he is happy. And the advisor goes off and then comes back and he brings the king a ring. And the ring has inscribed upon it this too shall pass. That phrase this too shall pass, I think of as a negating phrase. It kind of always has the opposite meaning. You know, you can tell someone who's sad that. And you can also tell someone who was happy that and it induces the opposite. I thought, shall you live in interesting times was something like kind of like that? Or it can have multiple meanings depending on the context in which it is used. But I did not realize it's supposed to be a curse which by definition is not good news. Nobody wants to curse. I sort of, are you a fan of the TV series Yes Minister or Yes Prime Minister? Or they do a different series, one's the sequel to the other. But do you watch them or are you familiar with them? I am familiar with them. I tried to watch Yes Minister and I couldn't quite get into it. But I would have thought you'd like it. I would have thought it would appeal to you. I think I just wasn't in the mood. But I'm very open to trying it at some point in the future. Anyway, the reason I even bring it up was it does remind me there's a phrase that's made famous by that show where the civil servant who's always trying to manipulate the politician will always say to the politician that's a very courageous decision minister. Which obviously sounds like a compliment but it always makes the minister think, Oh hang on, why is it courageous? Is it going to cause me a problem? Right. And I think obviously interesting times has that. It sort of sounds like a nice thing. I hope everything is interesting for you. When really, it would be interesting if your car fell down a sinkhole and you had fell off a cliff. But it wouldn't necessarily be good. Interesting. So anyway, it did remind me of a boring Brady anecdote and I know you love this. I do. I love to cut these. So let me give you a boring Brady anecdote to cut, which is to do with not understanding saying this is one of my favorites. Oh boy, it sounds like it's going to be a good one. I'm just doing a few stretches at the moment. I can feel you winding up over there. So here we go. I used to work with a guy called Michael who was really top guy. He's still a really good friend although I don't get to see him or speak to him nearly enough. Very smart, very bright. And but also a guy that we liked giving each other a hard time as well. That kind of friendship. So we had a debate in the office where we worked about the origins of the saying a loose cannon. He or she is a bit of a loose cannon. Now obviously, I think most people know what that saying means. It's someone who is a bit erratic and what they do can potentially be quite damaging to those around them without them. Kind of even meaning to. Do you have a viewer and opinion on the origin of this term? When you say loose cannon, my mental image is a pirate ship with a cannon that is unhinged in some way. And why is this a problem? Like what do you mean? The cannon is not sturdily bolted down. And so in the waves, it can maybe end up pointing to the inside of the ship and firing and causing a huge amount of problem. So that's the kind of my mental image. Okay. That is completely reasonable. This was this was this was Michael's position as well. He imagined a cannon not properly secured and therefore firing indiscriminately, not knowing what it might hit and what it might damage, which very much matches what the saying he's been ever loose cannon means. I was of the view that in fact it's a bit more subtle than that. What it is is if your cannon on the ship is not properly secured, when you go into a storm, it will start rolling and moving around the deck and just the sheer weight and mass of the cannon itself will start hitting walls and hitting things and causing damage to your ship. And that is why your cannons need to be well secured. The subtlety thing it has nothing to do with the firing of the cannon. That's not the issue here. In my case, the problem is just the movement of this huge big weighty thing causes a problem on your ship, which was the origin. Now this was a long running debate between us. Exciting. I don't even thought this was the sort of stuff you love, like this kind of minutiae of factual detail. The thing that's funny, the thing that's funny though, like if two people have a disagreement like that now, like that seems funny, doesn't it? Because this could be resolved in seconds. Yeah, I've already pulled up a page that's all about the phrase loose cannon as you're talking. Exactly. But this was at a time when the internet was truly in its infancy and the use of the internet for something like this was not possible. This was an option. So we were doing what old fashion journalists would do. We were phoning linguistic experts at universities and trying to get hold of books and articles and it became this big debate between us. In the end, it was decided that I was right. We found an expert who could even convince Michael that my position was right in terms of the origin of the term. And so to sort of celebrate my victory, I made this big scoreboard. And like with a huge picture of me and a huge picture of him and our names in great big huge type. And it said Brady won Michael's hero. And I put it up and it became this big thing and it became this Michael, the Michael Brady scoreboard, not dissimilar to our grave versus Brady, webpage maybe. And so this was, you know, he took it in good spirit, but it was sort of a bug bit for him and it was always in his face. And he wanted to get one back on me. So he kept waiting for another disagreement. And in the end, he got so desperate to score a point on this scoreboard. He started taking silly risks and calling me out for things being wrong when he wasn't sure I was wrong. And he started losing points. The only other one I remember really well was, you know, there's that an airport. I think it's St. Martin Airport, where the planes come in and land over a beach. And they come in so low. Oh, yes, yes. It's really famous. You see these photos all the time. You know, it looks like the people in their bathers and bikinis could just reach up and touch the bottom of these huge passenger planes. Yeah, if you use a picture of that somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, again, saying that now, it's like the ultimate cliche and we've all seen it a million times. But again, this was a time when with no internet and just email just coming into its own, the first sort of pictures of that were going around on email and stuff. And we saw one. And I was familiar with this airport and I said, yeah, yeah, that's a real thing. And he was convinced it was fake. So I was like, well, you know, this was over a few points. So I remember at the pub and I was willing to stake a point on the scoreboard on the fact that's fake. He was like, yeah, yeah, I'll do it. And then you know, we went on to the news wires and the photos and there were a hundred other photos. And he was like, oh, he lost another point. So he, I don't think he ever took a point off me on the scoreboard because he just got desperate. And I got very protective and wouldn't take risks. The point being, if only this interesting times thing had come up, this would have been an opportunity for him to take a point off me because I was convinced to make you live an interesting time was a nice thing and had a nice sentiment. And I am wrong. There is a slide to the story. I was the end of your story. I was seeing you were, there was a thing that you were wrong about. And if a friend you knew years ago was still betting you he could have scored a point because you were wrong on this. Well, I have to be honest, I have to be honest when I was thinking it through. I was hoping you might I was hoping you might jump on board with the story from time to time and you know, try him in. No, I was going to let you spin that one out all by yourself, buddy. That was great. Well, that's not really in keeping with the spirit of the podcast, is it? I'm sorry. You're supposed to engage. You're supposed to engage and ask stories and say, oh, that's really interesting. No, no. I've had this problem a few times, which is when I feel like I don't know exactly where the thing is going, I find it hard to engage. It's a bit like, wait, what? Where was the where was the thing? And I have to admit, I got distracted while you were talking the story because I was reading, I was reading all up on this loose cannon page, which has some remarks about, oh, loose cannon as a phrase was used in 1874, but it mentions it as a French translation from a book. And there's a couple of other like dodgy references to loose cannon. And so while you were telling your story, then I went over to the Google Books Endgram viewer, which I do you know what the Endgram viewer is? I don't even care. I'm sorry to support you. No, okay. I'm just surfing the internet. I'm just telling my story. I'm going to keep flowing your head. So the Endgram viewer is this amazing tool from Google Books, where they've digitized all the books from 1800 to now that they can get their hands on, and they've done OCR across all the books. And so you can search for the relative frequency of word usage over time, which is very interesting. And this is one of the things that I used in my, what were the popular names for the planet Uranus in over time so you can see the alternatives rise and fall? So anyway, I looked up loose cannon on the Google Endgram viewer, and it's suspiciously has no references before about 1930 in the English language. There's just nothing there. Doesn't necessarily mean anything because of course the data gets more spotty as you get closer to 1800. But still, this makes me wonder if this is one of these phrases that is actually modern, but that we think is much older than it really is. But then I got distracted because you mentioned St. Martin and I was thinking, oh, where, where, I know what video must that have been. So I was looking up St. Martin. And of course, St. Martin is the island that is named Thrice because the island is St. Martin. The northern part of the island is French and is also named St. Martin. And the southern part of the island is Dutch and named St. Martin. So that would have been in my Netherlands video. You did a lot of stuff while I was telling that story. Then I went made a cup of tea and then I went to the toilet and wrote a few scripts. I was listening. I was definitely listening. No, I'm not sure you were. Do you know what I find really interesting? Well, there's something comes up like this is obviously a bit of a theme between us. I always want to tell like an anecdote. Like if something happens, I'm like, oh, that reminds me of a story. And I tell one of my big long stories. And you are really, all you want to do is talk about like some functional thing. Oh, that reminds me of Google Engram, which is this tool that you can use to do this. And this remind you like, well, don't you like a bit of a story? Like, it does occur to me. I don't often think of times that you spin yarns about people like, oh, that reminds me of my cousin Jimmy that once climbed a tree and fell off onto a spark. And like, you don't really, I can't think of many of those stories. You tell that cousin Jimmy's story sounds great. I can make one. I'll give you a chance to surf the internet again. Sure you can. I'll be I'll be looking up spike related injury frequency in just a moment. Yeah. And some app that tells you where every spark is in the Northern Hemisphere. So you can avoid them and how useful this is. Yeah, that'd be great. Oh, man, I want something like that. There is a there's an app that tries to track bed bugs at hotels in America. So it'll it'll show you a frequency of reported bed bug incidences at various hotels. It'll feel like, oh, bed bugs. Those are bad news. You got to avoid those. Not checking into someplace unless I make sure there's no bed bugs there first. That sounds that actually sounds like a problem because that would turn into one of those things where like trip advice are like anywhere you want to go. You just go through every review until you find one bad review. And you say, okay, now I can't go there. Yeah, surely there's always going to be one bed bug report at every place. Well, they're going to risk it. You know, no, forget it. Random acts of intelligence. Oh, yes. Yeah. So for people who don't know, there is going to be a live show featuring Destin from Smarter Every Day Derek from Veritasim. De... Oh, no, leave leave that in just because it will annoy him. Derek from Veritasim, that brilliant YouTube channel and brilliant man, Henry from Minute Physics, Brady Harron from Number File, Periodic Videos, 60 Symbols, Deep Skull Videos and various others. And CGP Gray from CGP Gray in person on a stage in real life. People can come. They can hear you talk. They can possibly talk to you. They can see your face. They can, can they touch you? I don't know. Probably not no. No. Maybe a handshake. Handshakes are okay. I'll bring hand sanitizer. Yeah. So this is a, this is an exciting thing. I have no information in front of me as to the date. I was going to say, like, why are you being so vague about this? It's November 14th in Huntsville, Alabama. Tickets are 42 dollars. You can go to actsofintelligence.com and purchase a ticket there. Why are you being so vague? It's because you're totally unprepared and you don't have the webpage open. No, I was six to eight p.m. I was by building up, like suspense and excitement. I don't think you were. I don't think you were. I think you were. No, I'm hoping that I was going to open the webpage while he were talking. No, no, no, no, no, that's not true. I wasn't. Because what I was trying to do was I was trying to get people to think, oh, this sounds really good. I want to go. And I wanted the people in their head to already have committed to going before realizing that they would have to do a quite pleasant and short trip to Huntsville, Alabama, where they will also get to visit like a big rocket center and say the loveliness of Huntsville. Yes, it's the US Space and Rocket Center. This big Saturn 5 rockets there. It looks very cool. I have not been there. I have not been there. But I have seen Destin show off enough cool stuff from the Rocket Center to definitely feel like this is a cool sciencey place to go to. So yes, that's where we are all going to be. And I believe pretty Derek Henry and Destin are going to be putting on a little song and dance show. And yeah, it should be an interesting and interesting evening of stuff and hanging out. So yeah, so Destin and Henry and Ferretest, wait, not Ferretest, yeah. We keep getting him wrong. Okay, now I have to leave that kind of. Oh yeah. What does he just call him the the beauty guy with that channel that starts with the fee? You know what the problem is, I'm trying not to say pretty Derek, which is what I want to say because I think he'd annoy him. I think he'd love that. I think he loves it. I've never discussed it with him, but I think he loves it. You might love it. But anyway, the five of us for various reasons had decided to kind of get together and Destin was the best at organizing stuff. And so we all kind of agreed. Like let's hang out at Destin's house. And so we decided we're all going to fly in and just spend some time together because we're friends. And out of this eventually came the idea because Destin, I feel like I know a lot of guys who get a lot of stuff done. But Destin is at the way top end of this list in terms of industriousness. And so I think he was very quick to pick up on the idea of, hey, while we're all here, why don't we do a thing? I work with the US Space and Rocket Center. I can get some space there. I mean, we can put on a put on like a little event and answer some questions and meet some people. And I think we all we all agreed because Destin is awesome. And then this is kind of spiraled up into an actual event. But yes, the origins of this were just, oh, you know, some friends were just hanging out. And then one of them said, why don't we do a thing? So we all know each other in real life. We are definitely friends. And then we decided to put on, or so to really say, Destin organized and decided to put on this thing, which I think will definitely be fun. I think some people had the impression maybe it was some like invited guests or some hand picked thing. And then people are like, oh, why, you know, you should have had so and so, why isn't this? And it's not like that. It wasn't like, it wasn't like Destin said, let's do a show and let's ask X, Y and Z. It was like, we were already there. And then I was like, yeah, let's do this thing. And then and then he's turned into this really cool thing. Yeah, well, the funny thing is Destin is way too awesome in some way. So I'm looking at the poster right now that he put together. And the poster intimidates me. The poster looks really official and super awesome. And I think, oh, God, yeah, that's that's quite an event. But so he's just too good at putting together all of the cool looking. I mean, he'll be at points to point out someone else made the poster for him. But he has he works as really cool people. And I know some artists he works with did did the poster. I'm not saying that to take it you credit from Destin, but I know he would want he would want to shout out to the artist. So consider that done. But come and come to the show if like, I don't think it's that I mean, America's not a big place. Is it it's not hard? Just didn't you put over to Huntsville to come and hang out with us? Well, here's the America is a big place. But because it's a big place, us Americans are used to traveling distances that two English people are unfathomable. Well, Dan, I'm pronouncing it by the way. I wouldn't even try it like that. Destin told me just, you know, there are people coming from all over the place to this from much further away than I would have expected. So yeah, if people are interested, we'll put the website in the show notes and they can go check it out and get a ticket. I don't know for how long tickets will still be available because they are selling quite well. But yeah, it'll be there if you want to come and see us in person. And it will not be recorded. Yes, this is a real actual live. You need to be there in person. Be there. I'm going to be recorded. That's what a cool sign. We should have used that. Oh, be there in B square. That's cool, isn't it? For like a kind of nerdy gathering. Yes, maybe I'm not sure I would go with be there. I think not. But it won't be a record. Everyone's like, why don't you record it? I'm not a big believer in recording everything. Said the guy who makes YouTube videos for living. But like yeah, who records other people for living. Yeah, more than that. But like, like, things like weddings and stuff like that. I think it's like, I don't have like speeches recorded from my wedding, because in my head, it was amazing. And everyone was laughing. And like when I tell my, like when I tell you my anecdotes, I think they're amazing. And when I hear them back, I'm like, wow, that really was boring. Like, did you hear me laughing in your mind? Yeah, the reason the reason you were so quiet during my anecdote was because I thought you were enthralled. It was actually because you were just looking stuff on the internet. But so like with the wedding, like, I like to imagine that, like, in my imagination, it's kind of, you know, it's lovely and perfect. And I imagine if I watched a video and heard all my ums and hours and stuff like that, I'd enjoy it less. And I think the same for this. I think let's be in the room and have a have a great night with some people. And and that's just something those people will have. And then, you know, what's wrong with that? Why does everything have to be recorded? There's nothing wrong with it. I think it makes live events more special. Although, I'm going to disagree with you about something here. Just slightly, just slightly change the topic because you don't have a recording of your wedding. I do have a video recording of my wedding. And you know me, I am not a let's all remember the the glorious past kind of guy. I'm very forward looking. I am so happy that I have a recording of my wedding because on the day, the actual wedding was such a blur that I couldn't remember anything about it. And when my wife and I were driving from the ceremony back to our hotel, we in the car were saying, we cannot remember what just happened. Like, it was such an overwhelming fast moving day that if we didn't happen to have a video recording of that, I would have literally no memory of what happened on my wedding day because it was just it was too overwhelming for my brain to actually write down and record. But so, but instead, you have like a forensic blow by blow. Well, I would have is a video recording of my wedding, which is now functioning as my actual memory of the memory. I don't remember the wedding. I remember all the times that I have watched the wedding on the computer. So that's that's that's that's that's let me let me let me respond to your response. We had an amazing photographer who who didn't take like posi pictures because we went up to into them, but like took sort of repertoire journalistic pictures, which I really like and prompt all those memories that need prompting. And I did give a handicap to my non-camryman friend and said, just record some stuff for a while. And he did like so he recorded like not like the speeches and the ceremony, but he just recorded lots of stuff. And I edited that into a three or four minute video. So there is video footage from the day, which we which we love very much. I'm a show it to you sometime actually, which is which is good. So I'm not saying like don't document the day. And I'm not even saying don't have any video footage of the day. I just think certain things can you know, some things are better in the memory in my opinion. For example, I used to do a lot of plays and theatrical performances when I was in high school. And I remember I have very fond memories of them. And I saw a video of one a few years ago. And it was pretty disappointing. And I much prefer my memories of my performance than the actuality of my performance. We're getting derailed here so fast, but I will just say, of course your memory is better. I mean, like human memory is so shockingly frail and totally unreliable that like what memory is is it is an amplifier of whatever you think you are remembering. So if you have some event in your past that was a mildly good day and you keep remembering it in 30 years, you're going to remember that day as the best day you've ever had because your brain just keeps amplifying and adding in more details. And it's the same it's the reverse for things that are bad, right? Oh, you had a bad day. Well, fast forward in 20 years, you're going to remember that bad day as the worst day that ever happened if you keep thinking about it every single day. So of course, I find the bad days don't do that though. I find the good days do what you just said. And the bad days don't do that. Maybe that's like a self protection mechanism we have. But I feel like the bad days don't get worse over time. It's almost certainly just that you don't think about them as much. Right? If you keep revisiting a bad day, like we know this from science, your memory of the things that you remember more gets more and more distorted. So if there is a story that you keep telling by the 50th time you tell that story, it is way out of whack. And it's actually the things that you remember less frequently. It are the things that you remember more accurately. And this is one of the reasons this is I mean, it's total society derailment here. But this is one of the reasons why I witness testimony is just worse than useless because by the time you get someone on the stand, they have been over their story with the police, with the lawyers so many times that by the time that the person is on the witness stand actually recalling what they saw, those memories are just completely untrustworthy. So yes, if you have a great day and you want to remember that day in the future as glorious, the worst thing you can do is record that day in any way. Just keep telling people about how great that day was. And in the retirement home, you will be filled with bliss when you think back upon it. Answer me this then. Yeah. Why don't you and Mrs. Gray watch the video once to patch up the memories that are gone and then never watch it again and start building up that happy memory? Because, Brady, because I value accuracy overlays. 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So start a trial today with no credit card required and when you decide to sign up for Squarespace, make sure to use the offer code Hello Internet, all one word. We thank Squarespace for their support, Squarespace. Everything you need to create an exceptional website. So I have just finished watching Breaking Bad. Oh, now spoiler alerts. Yeah, well, I'll try to not do spoiler alerts. But I'm not going to sit here and say how great it is because it's a bit like I'm a bit late to the party and obviously it's one of the great television shows and I'm going to sound a bit stupid like I've just discovered it and I want to tell the world how good Breaking Bad is. Let's just say it's a really good show. I don't know if you've watched I assume you have and I assume you agree it's good because if you don't, I don't think we can be friends. I have watched it and I do agree that it is good but I have I have asterix on that. But yeah, okay. Well, before we go into possibly into asterix, I just want to say having finished it, what an immense burden has been lifted off me in terms of avoiding spoilers about what would happen and how it would end because obviously this is a cult show. It's discussed on red at all the time. There are always new articles and it's become such a part of our culture that it's hard to avoid them and I've many times been going through red at the suddenly scene some headline about Walter White and shut my eyes and click the back button to get away from the page and I did. I managed to avoid all the spoilers and got to the end of Breaking Bad not knowing really what would happen and how it would end and enjoyed it very much. Thank you very much. Do you want to talk about your asterixers or is this not the time should we have you breaking bad another day? No, I just I'm really sorry but I was just trying to look up something on the internet as you were. No, because we need to impose some kind of ban on using the internet. Normally, I don't. Normally, I don't but I just you're a spoiler thing reminded me of something and I'm just I can't find it off the top of my head. I'm going to go out on a limb here but what it reminded me of is there's a new-ish podcast I found called TLDR and broadly I could say that it is it is about internet culture but they had an episode that I really liked which was on a thing which was called I want to say last man standing and it's a game and the game was played between a bunch of friends with the goal of who can be the last person to find out who won the Super Bowl this year. Right and so they were playing this game to try and avoid this incredibly big piece of news. That's good. Yeah, it was a good episode. If I remember who won the Super Bowl this year. I did watch it though, sorry. Okay, I'm not sure I ever knew but if I might have this wrong about the pot. I might put a different podcast in the notes even that aside TLDR is a good podcast. Listen to I recommend it. But so what I'm thinking of is is when you are watching a show like Breaking Bad it's a bit like you are playing your own version of this last man standing and you have to try to avoid this information coming to you and it can come to you at any time from any location on Twitter just on some some website and and I am I am with you on this one. I watched Breaking Bad late as well and I remember feeling this exact same anxiety over trying not to know what happens in Breaking Bad. I got up through season four part one and it ends at season four part two as I was just about to start that season four part two and I happen to be talking to some friends and they brought up Breaking Bad and I said oh, oh just don't mention it to me. I'm only up to season four part two. Don't tell me anything. I don't want to know and I don't know if you've ever come across this kind of person but there is a sort of person who feels like they are doing you a favor if they tell you all of the stuff that happens later on. And so his friend was like oh well let me just like no no I don't want to hear it and I had to be ridiculously firm with this person about. I'm very strict about that. Yeah please don't tell me I will I will murder you before I let you finish that sentence because I've spent two years trying to not find out about the end of the show. There is this kind of person who seems to want to tell you what happens and I think it is because they are a kind of person who needs to know what happens and this what I'm about to say I have no intellectual ability to understand these humans but I have met people who when they pick up a a book the first thing they do is read the last page of the book. I cannot understand this at all. This is like I can't come up with an analogy. My brain just goes completely blank on the possibility that somebody else's brain would work this way. There is one circumstance in which I understand that besides the silly one like oh I could die and never know how I ended so like that's obviously stupid but there is there is there is there is an occasion where I get tempted to read the last page of a book and that is this is the circumstance and I will start with a analogy. You know when you're on a ship in the middle of the sea and in the middle of the night you go to the edge and just look over the rail at the water and it's like quite scary isn't it you know I could jump in and no one would ever know and the ship would be gone and that would be it and suddenly you just imagine jumping you like think I'm going to jump I'm going to do it I'm going to do it and you just imagine yourself doing it and then hopefully you don't do it but like you get this weird thing that goes through your head it's the it's the call of the void is the name for that okay sometimes if I'm reading a book I do the same thing like I imagine I could just look at the last page right now I could just do I could just turn the last page right now I could look at it I could know how it ends and and it will be too late and no one will stop me and it will be done and and that's it so it's like the equivalent of jumping off the ship I sometimes have those moments with a book I'm like I'm like I'm I could just do it I'm going to do it and that is adorable I love this notion that you have in this mental fight with yourself however brief so when I finished breaking bed I thought well done I managed to avoid the spoilers I decided to have a look how long it had been since the last episode was broadcast and it turns out I watched the finale 364 days after it screamed yeah so I quite liked that I kind of regretted not knowing that because I would have waited one more day and I would have I would have liked watching it on the anniversary but I didn't find out to laugh to the fact because that's when I then went on Wikipedia and read everything of course about breaking bed I've got a Brady's paper cut yes yes and it relates to all of this so he is Brady's paper cut which we haven't had for a while my paper cut is people who live tweet things on TV what who do you follow who does this well less people than last night because last last night was the final of a television show that's been very popular in the UK called the Great British Bake Off which is like a cooking it's a cooking show it is surprisingly addictive it is surprisingly addictive it's like a you know so anyway I usually don't watch it on the day I usually watch it a couple of days later but because it was the final I thought well I will watch this on the day because it will be very hard to avoid but I had to work for my wife to come home from work she was working late so I had to wait till late in the evening and I went on to Twitter quite innocently okay my fault I went on to Twitter while it was on and there were people saying oh I'm so glad so and so one I think then I think there needs to be some etiquette about tweeting what happens in TV shows there are times when live tweeting is acceptable and there are times when it is unacceptable in my opinion it's acceptable during an Apple event it is nice acceptable during a TV show yes it it is acceptable although it's a nuisance to me it is acceptable during a sporting event I wish people wouldn't do it because I sometimes watch sporting events underlay but I accept sporting events news things that is breaking news like an Apple event or some disaster or something of course but I mean like the presidential debates I think I live tweeted during the last presidential days like yeah if you if I say I'm not going to watch the presidential debate for a few hours because I'm busy I accept people are going to live tweet and the very notion of a spoiler alert for the presidential debate is kind of ridiculous yeah yeah but I think a reality sort of baking competition show that is on like at peak time people need to be a bit sensitive to that like we live in an era now where people watch their entertainment quite delayed not many people watch stuff live and I think if you're tweeting who won the great British Bake Off while it's happening that's unacceptable the next day okay you know it's a news event now but during an unacceptable that's my paper cut I know I know I made a mistake by going on Twitter but I'll tell you the worst offender though he's a maid of mine I hope I hope he doesn't listen to the podcast I'm pretty sure he doesn't but there's a TV show in the UK again called University Challenge it's a quiz show very difficult questions I really enjoy watching it to see how many of the questions I can get right because because there are so few you can get right it actually becomes a point of interest and I had this friend who likes to show as well and he will go on Twitter and he will watch it and he will write the answers to all the questions like live like he's listening and if he knows the answer he writes it down there's no way he's writing it more quickly than the people answering but you'd go onto his Twitter stream and it would say you know Nepal King Charles III Brazil you know doctor 1943 and I really got pleasure from recording University Challenge it later on watching it and seeing how many I could get right and when you've had all the answers down your Twitter stream I got really he was even doing that on Facebook I feel like this is the smallest scale of spoilers that I can still get on board with it's yeah it's not microspoilers it's like any smaller and I would feel like I'm sorry Brady I can't go along with that yeah Madagascar that that that this is a spoiler I can I can go off with that yeah yeah the next level would be the presenter is wearing a pink tie and that would be like okay if you don't that's too small done you ruined it for me anyway there's my paper there we need we need clearly delineated boundaries of what can be live tweeted and what cannot and the great British Bake Off final cannot be live tweeted I have spoken it is been Nobel Prize week oh yes always a big week for a science of video maker such as I so you now feeling guilty for not following you more closely do you still do the the make some poor professor at nodding him explain the Nobel Prize right then and there well though I didn't this year we didn't I wasn't in the room watching it with them live for various reasons but pretty much straight afterwards it's a mad scramble for me around the university finding someone who's suitable to explain it and we and I have done this with the physics prize and the chemistry prize and if great is kind he can link to the videos and what not I don't do the medicine prize because I haven't got a medical channel I don't do the literature one because I haven't got a literature channel and I don't do the peace one because peace prizes load a rubbish take in sides did you follow the Nobel prizes this year any any thoughts on the Nobel Prize in general well I basically didn't know the Nobel Prize has happened until just now I'll take that as a no so sorry do you you don't get you don't what do you think about the Nobel Prize you think it's a good thing or do you think you know prizes are a later rubbish and you know sciences above prizes or you don't like trinkets I kind of imagine you'd like you know gold medals but a million bucks I imagine you'd see some merit too so okay I don't know if I this is here it's a slight prize related story yeah you want it and I think don't I'll give you an anecdote all right hang on just let me get my internet open let me open Safari yeah that's right there you go so you can zone me out while I'm talking no no go on I am I wait with baited breath so as you may know but for the for the benefit of the audience if you get a million subscribers on YouTube then YouTube sends you this gold play button and it's it is impossible to describe how enormous this thing is it comes in this this huge frame and this golden play button is is like a sphere at the size of a human head this prize is enormous I will try to find a video because there's a few on YouTube of people opening up their golden play boxes and they always great I have to interrupt because you're not going to believe this mine arrived four hours ago no way and it is it is within eye shot of me and it is still in the box that's how fresh it is I haven't even opened it yet okay test five to the fact the box is enormous and incredibly heavy but it's seriously it just arrived okay that's too amazing all right so this works out just perfectly yes so you just you just got yours I literally have it like I haven't even opened it when I reached the million subscribers I had a very excellent and very thorough partner manager at YouTube and for those who are unaware partner manager at YouTube is someone who just you can ask questions and they want to make sure everything is is okay with with your channel and this partner manager kept trying to ask oh where do you want the golden play button sent and trying to trying to extract the information from me and she must have chased me for months about where do you want us to send the golden play button how is the best way to get it to you should we just have it shipped to YouTube headquarters and I can hand it to you when you can you know bring it home on the underground should we have it shipped to your parents and I'm like trying desperately to extract this information from me and I spent so much effort constantly trying to derail the conversation or avoid direct answers because I had no desire to have this gigantic useless trophy in my house and I think you know what is awesome what's awesome is that I have a million subscribers that that many people want to watch the videos I make I am truly humbled by that number of people what I don't need is a gigantic thing in my house to constantly remind me of that like I don't like a like a wedding video no not like a wedding video because a wedding video can be a file on my computer that I never even have to to look at if I don't want to gigantic gold play button what the heck am I going to do with that so I was dodging her forever before finally finally it was relinquished and I am a fortunate person now just to be sitting here with over a million subscribers and no gigantic golden play button I don't want it obviously personally I don't like I don't like trophies and I don't know if you remember but a few maybe was it last year I guess it was near the time I was crossing the the million subscriber mark there was also one of the YouTube E.D.U conferences that we went to and Hank Green was there with the crash course people who make an excellent excellent YouTube channel and it just so happened that Hank Green was there at the YouTube conference when he crossed a million subscribers yes and so at the conference they presented him with the gigantic golden play button yeah and I had been trying really hard to hit a million subscribers before that conference because I just thought oh I would like to be at the conference and have a million subscribers that that would seem like it was fun I cannot tell you how much relief I was filled with at the conference when I realized like oh only have 900,000 and that I didn't have to go up on stage and they weren't going to hand me some gigantic golden play button because my only thought would have been how the heck am I going to get this home like thanks like can I leave this here can I like is this impolite to just you know pretend to forget it in the in the Google cafeteria and just try to get the heck out of there without it so yes I've not not a personal personal fan of trophies what are you going to do with yours that they think is enormous well actually as as you are aware because hopefully you are coming along as a special observer and guest I have a video planned that kind of belatedly celebrates number far reaching a million subscribers so I was hoping to have it there and somehow incorporate it into the video so hey we've reached a million here's the button now that I've seen how big and heavy it is I will not be taking it so but I I don't agree with you I think I I don't mind trophies I know they are kind of a vanity thing and I you know I have a few in my office and I have a few that I have given to you know people at the university who have helped make the videos possible it's a nice it's a nice thing to be able to do so I don't I don't I don't hate them the way you do but I do real I see them for what they are but can I coming back to you not wanting your play button can I can I put two things out there one your pay I know your parents are you know justifiably very proud of the things you've accomplished why not have it sent to their home and let them have it up in a room somewhere and say oh yeah that's our son you know he's very successful filmmaker and that wouldn't interest them either they would probably be much more interested than me and that that was my backup plan was if I was ever in a situation where I cannot possibly get out of it I'll have that thing shipped to my parents and let them deal with it can I give you a third option yes can I have it no you can't have my golden play button we can't we can have two in your house no no because I think it would be a really fun video to take CGP grows golden play button and like throw it off a cliff or smash it with an X and feel no no no that I don't agree with because that's different right that's but that's like just that's like disrespectful of no no no no yeah okay yeah I actually I wasn't thinking I wasn't thinking of it in that context but yeah because I that mean that's a bit like this that's not that's not the that's not the the thing just to be clear that that's not what I mean that's not that's not the spirit I meant to it I meant it more in just doing something spectacular I didn't I think it's a really lovely thing that I send us the they don't have to send us these things for free it's a very nice thing to do yeah no I didn't mean it definitely is but and and that's where again I'm not I am not opposed to the abstract notion of winning prizes but like the it's like the important part about winning the Nobel Prize is that you won the Nobel Prize it is not the actual physical object that they hand you so yeah that's that's that's the difference here and with the YouTube thing it's like I I have the million subscribers I don't need the some object to remind me that is the case but obviously Nobel prizes way less frequent than YouTubers with the million subscribers so they are they are vastly more vastly more valuable plus they also come with is it still a million dollars actually I don't know is that it's I think it's over a million dollars actually yeah it's because in growner and obviously the exchange rate exchange rate changes and it's in Swedish growner but I think it works out to be over a million of course it usually gets split up people rarely win it alone anymore but yeah well I mean that's that's part of the the question about the the Nobel Prize now isn't it yeah you know because that no more than three people can win it can I ask you Brady asks Gray random question that that other you promised I could make this a segment so yeah sorry I was distracted it's 1.2 million dollars of the current exchange rate yes well I said just over a million okay oh sorry um Brady asks Gray random question which isn't totally random this is actually a favorite question for mine to ask people with you these questions won't be as fun because I know exactly what the answers will be but I'll see where I can take it no would you rather win a Nobel Prize or a World Series or Super Bowl you know winners ring I'm imagining a Nobel Prize well well hold on a second does this mean I have to put in all the work required to get either of those prizes because a Nobel Prize means I'm also signing up for a lifetime of some of the hardest work that a human being can possibly do you can you can you can you can Nobel Prize with just a little bit of luck whereas you've got to do well can you get everything it's a lucky one for a Nobel Prize because I'm not I'm not signing up to win a Nobel Prize when I'm 70 and that just sounds like that sounds like an enormous amount of work whereas a World Series that sounds like less work what I'm saying is when you're about to die and you're about to draw your last breath or you're and I'm and I'm preparing your obituary do you want me to be saying CGP Gray the Nobel Prize winner or CGP Gray the Super Bowl winner you know the Super Bowl quarterback who won the Super Bowl what I will have cared about when I'm dying because if I have lived an enjoyable life and so that's why I'm trying to figure out what is required of me with these two prizes because the World Series sounds like way easier than I think being an athlete I think being an athlete is like quiet like you have to do a lot of exercise and a lot of like fitness and running yes but I'm also thinking that this is a much more limited period of time of your life probably yeah and if I'm winning a if I'm winning a World Series I'm probably a fairly well paid athlete as well scientists not well paid so this is this is what I'm trying to do the calculations on here I might actually go for the World Series I think I'm definitely leaning that way you take these questions so different to my other friends I don't understand how else I'm supposed to think about that would you rather win would you rather win a Nobel Prize or the or an Oscar well I just have the exact same question do I have to do the work for these things because again Oscar sounds like it's the way better deal I think I'm going to go for an Oscar yeah but it also has less cash out doesn't it then it's depending on your mindset again I'm concerned about the quality of my life not the greatness of my obituary obviously Nobel prize winners contribute way more to society than any actor or any sportsman but that is not a relevant question for how do I necessarily want to live my life you really every decision you make is just based on making your life better there's no there's no thought of legacy or impact or you all you care about is I'll be dead when there's legacy you know it's just yeah that's what that's what that's kind of what legacy that's exactly what it is yeah I legacy I you know I do not optimize my life for that I think it is great that people do I am very glad those people exist I am not a person who is who is capable of being really interested in what happens after I am dead because I will not be able to be interested because I will be dead so every decision you make is just based on having a comfortable chair to sit in and nice food to eat and not be in pain basically you are oversimplifying it in in a in a very Brady like way but I am concerned with improving the quality of my life is the way that I would I would put it okay I feel like I always disappoint you no welcome to my world your size at me you never disappoint me I think you do the last podcast for those of you who like to do your podcast listening with a nice smooth face you're in luck because today's 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putting the code in website address again harrys.com offer code h i thanks so much to them for supporting our podcast iPhones oh you want to talk iPhones I want to talk iPhones first of all first of all this is amazing and this is probably a sad indictment on me and we'll further enhance my caveman reputation i am still yet to touch an iPhone 6 oh yeah I think I saw a six s I don't know if it was a six or a six s because I haven't seen the two side by side yet but I saw a woman with an iPhone held up to her face that looked like an iPad mm-hmm so I'm assuming that I hope that was the six s because there's one bigger than that that plus sorry sorry six plus I hope that was a six plus because if they if they make them any bigger than that heaven help us you you went for the six the smaller of the two uh how's it working out for you first I feel like in my world I have been I have been listening to nothing but other people on podcasts also talk about their iPhones yeah I was like everybody on all of the podcasts I listen to is talking about their iPhones and it's one of these weird things where uh normally at a certain point I would feel like okay I've had enough of this but on this particular topic I feel like I I can never hear enough conversation about people talking about the the six versus the six plus versus the five s it just it is endlessly engaging to my brain for reasons which I think might become clear as as now I continue to participate in this conversation so when we record the last show I had seen an iPhone 6 in person yeah but I had not yet uh gotten mine and so now I've had it for I don't know two weeks or so I keep coming back to this feeling that it's just a little too big that I've never quite realized how much I use my phone one handed and this is going to sound like a crazy person now right but not once not twice but thrice I went back to the Apple Store to look at the six plus yeah because I kept thinking well if I'm having a hard time using this one handed why don't I just double down on size and go with the six plus if I'm if you're gonna be a baby grizzly that's exactly it right greatness is achieved by doubling down on strengths not by not by mitigating weaknesses yeah so I thought okay well let me just let me just go for what this thing actually is you want a bigger phone you're going to get the biggest phone but every time I went back into the store I would look at the six plus and go oh my god this thing is enormous it's comically big if that from what I've seen yes from what the one I saw yeah it is it is almost comically big and then it's this funny situation where it goes from oh I'm having a little bit of difficulty using my phone one handed to well actually I can reach maybe 25% of the screen one handed like I can't even reach and hit the return key from the opposite end with my thumb you know one handed experience it's just it was just way way too big I mean it's clearly it's just not a one handed phone is that is this the thing we have to just accept the days of the one handed phone or over if you go even go to a six yet a nine a six plus I don't know I don't know I guess it depends on what happens next year or maybe in two years time to see if Apple gets rid of their smallest size phone that to now to me is a very interesting question if they get rid of the five size phone but it's like I never knew how much I used my phone one handed until I suddenly found myself just with a phone that was a little too big to use comfortably one handed I mean don't get me wrong I can I can get by but it's I am constantly aware of trying to reach to the far end of the screen or readjusting the grip on my phone so that I can reach like the top corners so yeah I'm surprised I'm surprised I was convinced by now you would be saying not a problem you know best thing I ever did days of the you know I look at my five s now and it looks too small I thought you know because I pulled out my four the other day and I looked at that and thought I'm a goodness I could never use a four again it is so tiny I thought you would say the same thing to me about the five s I'm surprised you're still you know I'm you're not total convert so this is why I think it's so interesting because almost yes I would say without exception up until this point every time I have upgraded to a new Apple device be it a laptop or be it an iPad or my previous phones there is very often with Apple something they've changed where you feel like I don't know about this Apple but within a week you're always thinking unambiguously how did I ever live like I lived before yeah yeah and this is the first Apple device where I just constantly find myself like feeling in doubt over it and this is a new experience with an Apple product for me whereas whereas every other time it has just been I'll get used to it and then yes you're completely sold on it but so that is why the iPhone 6 is just it keeps staying in my mind and it's why I am so interested to hear other people on the podcast that I listen to discuss their experiences with it as well have you retaken out your five s and just held it and felt it and thought I wish it was this again or like what happens when you hold your five s now you're smaller one so my wife is using the five s because I am the tech guy in the house I often have reason to handle her phone and every single time I pick it up and it feels like oh it's a little small and then immediately I realized just I can reach the whole screen it's like I can use it without thinking about having to use it it is very natural in this particular way whereas with the six I'm constantly shimming it up and down a little bit there has been much discussion on one of our favorite podcasts which is accidental tech podcast about the correct way to hold an iPhone and I am very strongly in the armant list camp of using your pinky underneath the phone in your one hand and then you use the pinky to kind of move the phone up and down which extends the reach of your thumb across the screen so that's the way I'm team pinky too but I I don't even think I need to move it with the pinky is just like the holder and my thumb does all the work like you don't even need to shimmy or move it with do you know what I compare it to and I haven't heard anyone else make this comparison but this was always a favorite thing of mine when you're when you're having a drink at the pub and you've had quite a few drinks and you're getting to the point where you think gosh I hope I don't drop a drink that would be really embarrassing the experienced drinker will hold the glass and just put their pinky under the base of the glass like a little like a little catcher to stop it so if you're if it you slipped or you're right right you know you have your pinky there as a backup and that's how that's how we hold our phone the pinky the pinky I don't I've heard people call it the load bearing finger and yes it is bearing load but it also is just this it's a backstop isn't it's like it's the catcher and I can't I'm amazed that there are people who don't use I'm trying it now just I just I just don't know there are this this is other team you know who say you don't put your pinky under the phone it's like well that's that's the that's the surracuse stance which normally I find myself agreeing with surracuse but this time I made a little video where I was trying to use the various methods to reach the corners of the screen and just was completely incapable of doing it with any of the surracuse recommendations yes I have seen the iPhone 5 video but I guess so so I'm using I am aware that with the when I hold my wife's iPhone 5s yeah yes it rests on my pinky but it's the same thing where I am not actively using the pinky in very very much away anyway at all or I'm not actively using the pinky to move my phone up and down oh so so I need with the six that you start using the pinky to shove it around yeah so with the six I find that I have to use the pinky in two circumstances one is to raise the phone a little bit so that I can type more comfortably because to hit the keys that are our closest to my hand is now slightly awkward and then the one that I still can't quite do is to try to drop the phone as much as possible to be able to hit what for me is the top right corner I also I don't know I might be a little strange here I am the only person I've ever met in real life who does this and I only know one other person on the internet who does this but I am right handed but I use my iPhone in my left hand exclusively freak freak I didn't know that and you are a freak is that freakish I don't think it is if oh and it's always felt really natural to me I'm just trying to hold my phone in my left hand now I mean I have I do hold it in my left hand um you know on occasion if I'm like you know if I got a hot dog or a donut in my right hand but um yeah that would not be my default hand yeah so when I type one when I type one hand it on my phone I'm using my left hand even though I am right handed and it is almost impossible for me to imagine doing it in any other way I used to play cricket with a guy who bowed with his left hand which is like pitching and through with his uh right hand that is amazing because they're almost two identical actions anyway just yeah yeah so what I was gonna say is that this like this basically there is this problem for me where the with my default grip the the middle of the phone is very easy to hit but then the extremes of the top and the bottom I have to shuffle it up or down with my pinky to be able to comfortably hit it in one way or another and I'm just constantly aware of this as a thing that makes the phone a little bit more difficult to use and and swatchis it is it has been on my mind there are things that make this more a more frustrating experience because for example on my phone on my home screen I only have two rows of icons when I turn on my phone so it's eight icons in total the apple does not allow you to arbitrarily place where these icons go you have to fill the icons in from the top left to the bottom right yeah and so this means the only icons I have they are they are almost all I need to have a little pinky drop action to hit them all very comfortably they let marooned at the top of the screen that's exactly it and if you do the little uh the do the little double tap thing apple will slide them down halfway on the screen and every time I look at that I think why can't you just leave the icons in the middle if I could put them anywhere that I would want I would put them in the middle of my screen and I would be much happier but no they have to be at the top I was even wondering can I can somebody make or can I buy on the app store a blank application an application that does nothing except it has a transparent icon and no text just like to force all the other ones to yeah does exactly like I'm trying to do the count here I I would need um I would need about 12 yeah eight or 12 if somebody made eight or 12 one dollar blank icons I would buy them today just to move my own apps icons halfway down the screen into the place where it is it is most comfortable they have to be invisible though you can't just you might just put pillows there no no no no I mean it's oh god some people some people have so many icons on their phone when they open their phone up I don't understand I don't understand how they do it I'm gonna I'm gonna throw Derek under the bus now all right it's about time someone else got it uh I was very lucky enough to see Derek he a very tassian what got it right that time uh he came Derek came through London it's one of the reasons why I love living in the city is every once in a while people I know happened to pass through it's a great juncture point and if I'm lucky they come and see me so I saw Derek we had a nice afternoon chatting about stuff but at one point Derek handed me his phone uh and I looked at it and there were just pages and pages filled with icons and I just I was just horrified by this I don't understand how people live like this and Derek could see that I was revolted by looking at his phone and asked me you know what was wrong and I said all of these icons are what's wrong and then Derek said oh don't worry I don't use most of them which to me is like my brain just could not handle this and the thing that is like does not compute is Derek thought he was saying something that would improve the situation but it just made it a million times worse what do you mean you you have five pages of icons and you don't use most of them I mean what what world do you think that makes me feel better about all these icons and I don't mean to pick on Derek here it's just this is the most recent case where this has happened but I always see this where people open up their phone and there's just a million icons like oh I don't use most of them how do you how do you live like that it might but him but the one day he needs it it needs to be there yeah but I have I have a ton of icons on my phone as well and almost all of them live in a folder called rarely used right just shove them all in there so that they're not on your actual home screen but if you happen to need them they're installed on the phone you have a you have a folder called rarely used yes you rarely use them and yet it's still taking up space on your phone well but it's it's not taking up their man and you need to get rid of that yes you are just intentionally trying to provoke me now I have a system my system is very clear there there are two rows and two rows only allowed on the front of the phone yeah this is to help prioritize what do you actually use the phone for also it's it's to enforce a workflow on you it's not an aesthetic thing it's to well it is also an aesthetic thing because nothing looks more hideous than an iPhone filled with icons especially now the phones are bigger and you can have so many icons on there I have always been even before I decided on just limiting it to two rows I have always been firmly in the belief that at the very least the bottom row the row directly above the dock should be empty yeah yeah actually I just realized I haven't asked and I think I'm slightly afraid to ask what your iPhone looks like I don't actually know I've never seen what your iPhone looks like but you do leave that the bottom row has to be clear clearly right the bottom row has to be clear I have a high discipline on my front on my first page but I do have a couple of folders on my first page so what I do is like for example so it doesn't make it easy yeah so things like like all my social media stuff like Twitter and Facebook and Skype and all that sort of stuff they they all go into a folder on the front page so they're not they're not all in your face but you but they are accessible from the front page so yeah I keep the bottom row clear but also but the first but all the rows above that have to be filled you can't have like a jagged end it has to be has to be like oh yeah no you can't have the jagged end at all do you what do you have this your background image on your phone do you have like an interesting image you're like seeing you've got all that space that is there what feels that all the empty space but you probably laugh if I if I sent you my background image right now but I'm gonna go back to Derek for a minute again continuing to throw him one of the bus when he handed me his phone as well there was a picture of a kitty cat right there's like this cat that's just sitting in a basket for his whole lock screen and for his background so I like an idiot said oh you got a cat no this was just some strangers cat somebody else while while Derek had handed them his phone had taken a picture of their cat and then just set it as his lock screen and has his wallpaper and he just left it he never felt the need to change it and I can't I just I don't understand I'm so sorry Derek I don't mean to bring all this up for the internet but I just don't understand that when iOS 7 came out which was the the first one that introduced all that this translucency effect so that your wallpaper then affects the way the rest of your apps look I spent days literally days trying to find an acceptable background because now it was not just something that looks pretty it has to be something that looks pretty end works well with the translucency yeah I mean I really must have of dedicated I don't know 16 hours to the hunt for trying to find the perfect iPhone background and in the end I just had to give up because I was unable to find something that was adequate and so I had to set it up for the first time so you're laughing at Derek's image but you spent 16 hours to choose an image and stupid and choose one but that's exactly it this is why it's funny because in some ways Derek and I are very similar and in some ways we're not very similar at all and with respect to the the home screen selection clearly Derek is on the more rational end of this spectrum right it's like borderlining on a mental disorder to spend that much time trying to select the perfect wallpaper for your background but I could not I could not let it go I'm not I'm not even sure about the borderline part there but anyway borderline Brady definitely borderline but anyway I have to say I am I was extremely happy because when iOS 8 came out I thought oh no I feel this this itch to like let's try to solve the the background issue and I did put in a good afternoon but I finally found an iPhone background that I am very very happy with but Derek laughed at me immediately when he saw my background and just said really really so my background is kind of an abstract black and dark gray pattern but it is not a photograph of anything okay what is your background my background image is a photograph of Mount Everest taken with my iPhone from Cadillac Patai which is the summer which is a summer opposite Mount Everest which affords the best view of Mount Everest you can get without being like a hardcore climber so I'm quite proud of it but it's kind of it's not obtrusive it's it's kind of yeah it's kind of because the sky is kind of purple in the mountains are a bit purple in so it's kind of I wouldn't call it abstract but it also isn't something you look at and think oh look is a photo of something really specific like a person yeah but that is also just an awesome achievement photograph like you took that at Everest you know that that that photograph has has more meaning than other photographs would true I didn't mean it as a humble brag but it totally is no there's no there's not a humble brag you weren't you weren't putting yourself down in any way there's not a humble brag not even close sorry oh you're right yeah it lacked the but yeah you're up it was just a brag it was just a brag it was just a brag it was just a brag that's all what it was just a brag did you just text me I did just text you but I you've texted me your pattern just so you can see what it looked like in case you were in case you were that interested yeah I'm not a fan of what you've done there I wouldn't expect anybody else to be a fan but for me it totally works the problem is it's it's too sharply defined like the lines are too sharply defined and it's so it draws the eye if it had a bit of soft focus over it so all those sort of triangles that make up the pattern were not quite so distinct I think it would work better but I think I think they draw the eye a bit too much for mine this is getting to be bit like our flags episode required you describe for people things that would be much better if they could just see them all right I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna send you mine but you will be upset and the reason you'll be upset is because of all the the red badges all over everything oh no you're not one of those people you have red bad red badges are nobody gets a red badge except messages nobody gets a red badge you you are not gonna be happy with me but I'll send you anyway just so you can see how Everest works yeah that's the other thing I do see some people's phones where there's just red badges everywhere and again how do you how do you live like this I don't understand I don't understand at all don't be mad at me but here they come or you're gonna be really mad when you see the email anyway well your email I'm used to that now where you have 20,000 unread messages I don't know why part of the reason for the unread messages on my yeah now you're always full of a story about it oh I love this okay paintings unread messages show as seven dot dot dot eight what does that even mean how many digits are the dot dot dot hiding you actually need you need arrow notation to know how many F and red emails I have no this is actually wait a minute wait a minute have you not upgraded to iOS 8 you have a badge on your settings out oh no I was hoping you wouldn't call me on that but you have an upgrade to iOS 8 look this is the situation there's no situation I I'm a bit worried you see because I got spooked by the bug with 8.01 or whatever the 8.01 yeah yeah I got spooked by that because I hadn't yet gone to 8 which in itself I know is wrong so so what is your game plan here you just never going to upgrade yeah I'll upgrade upgrading has big penalty well on iPhone it never has but every time I upgrade my operating system on my Mac it cost me a fortune in buying software again and I'm not even joking because I use avid which isn't as Mac friendly as some other software but I use on a Mac every time I upgrade my avid stops working and I have to buy another one cost me a fortune yeah you know I understand but let's let's constrain this discussion to your phone so much game plan you're just going to leave that red badge there staring you in the face every day on your home screen nonetheless with with the settings right there look at all these I look at all these red things what do you think about Everest the other background is fine I'm okay with that I'll give I approve you have a lot more folders than I would have thought but all of these badges I just I really yeah I'm gonna do away with that bottom row actually because I need those things on there but you've got a cap we've you haven't upgrade to eat I just I just don't Derek hadn't upgraded to eat either I don't understand I don't understand I'm you know I'm loving it I think eat is really good I'm not an early adopter I I let other people take the ball up I'm like I'm like a like a field marshal at the back and I wait till all the soldiers have fallen on the field and all their bugs have happened and their phones have stopped working and then when the coast is clear and everyone's happy I try and fitly come through and upgrade then okay well I'm letting you know we're on 8.02 now and I'm giving you the all clear on this one it's fine I need I need more than just the all clear from you I'll get there okay okay okay you'll get there eventually I'll get so annoyed by the prompts coming up all the time on iTunes every when I plug my phone in that I'll I'll just deal with it okay let's make you mad as well somehow I'm aware but that's that's totally fine I just I just I can't I can't deal with this show showing you my iPhone or anything to do with my computer is a bit like my wife like looking through the rubbish and finding like McDonald's rappers like it's like I always fear you seeing anything to do with my technology is because I know I'm going to get disapproving uh disapproving comments yes as as you as you definitely as you definitely have right now anything else about the iPhone you've had about a thousand oh I did I just have a thousand bullet points are you okay for just going on for a little bit longer um and then we'll we'll start yeah you've broken my spirit now okay okay um yeah so I guess yeah sorry you put Brady 5s why did you put my name in the bullet points that excites me well I was wondering because last time you mentioned that you were thinking maybe upgrading to the 5s and I was wondering if that was something you had thought at any more about I have not given it a lot of thought I think I need to well I'm seeing you hopefully on Saturday yeah yeah so you're inside so I will have a look at your phone then okay if you allow me well uh you look at a lot of locked yeah I wouldn't yeah yeah I gave Brady my phone for three minutes he deleted all my accounts my my channel's gone yeah I don't hand people my unlocked phone I mean that's you know I mean if you're more comfortable maybe you could just give me a piece of cardboard cut to the same shape but um but yeah I have not made a decision about upgrading but upgrading is imminent surely because my battery my battery lasts like about three seconds it feels like sometimes oh yeah yeah so that actually that just reminds me of um the one thing so I have I have been testing out the phone and you know one of the one of the things that I thought was was interesting just about the larger size and this is why I'm so conflicted because I've been complaining about it on the last podcast and now sort of on this podcast but I definitely do like the bigger screen and it totally fits with what I was kind of hoping which is that the slightly bigger screen actually means it's a lot easier for me to do some of the work that I do on the phone um so like one of the things that I will sometimes do is there's uh there's like a cafe that is a kind of convenient and nice 25 minute walk from where I live and sometimes when I'm kind of stuck on something I just go for a walk and I take my phone with me and then I get a coffee and I like to be able to sit down and just I didn't bring a bag or anything but work on something if I've thought about it while I was on the walk and on my iPhone 5s I was just always aware that the screen was a little too small for some of that stuff but the six is definitely way better so I do have to give it a thumbs up for the bigger screen and that is why I kept debating about getting the sixth plus because I thought well the bigger screen is nice even a biggest screen is even better but again that's that that phone is kind of really pretty important that seems pretty fundamental like like like all this talk about having to you know shimmy this or shimmy that shortly sitting down and using it for work is a pretty big deal yeah so there's a lot of those or are those little shimmy moments when you just use it for a few seconds more important than those big sessions when you sit down at Starbucks and spend 20 minutes on it which is a more important use this is exactly this is why I feel so conflicted because I have definitely been getting a decent amount of real actual work done on my phone and that is I've never really been that kind of person but the little bit of a screen size increase has definitely made that much more possible although apple still always gets you because when I sit down to use my phone I always use it in landscape mode and then it is it is a very perfect size for me to hold to two thumb type and to use but apple does not let you rotate the phone into landscape mode in the same way they do on the six plus so on the six plus when you turn it sideways the phone understands oh I'm sideways it rotates all of the icons and it sets itself up for proper landscape mode whereas the iPhone 6 refuses to acknowledge landscape mode so I find myself using the phone in this dumb sideways position when I go back to the home screen all the icons are sideways and if I use the spotlight search it's sideways and I have to type briefly the first couple letters sideways and that is just incredibly infuriating and this is the kind of thing that for people who don't like apple this is exactly the sort of thing that they always point to apple doesn't give you the choice as to whether or not you want to let the phone rotate to landscape orientation apple makes the choice for you and so yeah so I do have simply for the people who like if you have a certain personality type apple will drive you up the wall with these kinds of decisions we feel like why can't I change this setting on my phone and this is one of these times where it is just infuriating to me but using the phone in this landscape way is is super helpful so I have this this kind of feeling of dread that I am just going to be forever more stuck in this kind of in between estate with the phone where I'm always going to feel like it is just a little too big for one-handed use but then also quite happy when I sit down somewhere to to dedicatedly use the phone on purpose so I don't know I don't know what's going to happen but I am concerned about about my future with iPhones and being perfectly happy which is what I would like to be these are yeah what else you got there what else is on your list dreaded pocket reshuffle oh oh did you step on something no but this I can't believe our conversation might have ended without this okay okay there is a promise that I don't like a crazy person here but you started sounding a crazy person around that 16 hour but I think ever since then I've just given up okay so here is the other this is like the major problem in my life right now I have a very specific set of items that I keep in my pockets and they live in very specific places you know like you know like as a man when you're leaving the house you do the kind of tap down you tap your front pockets or your back pockets or whatever it is so you know you've got everything you need yep okay so it's for for a long time it has been very clear what I have is tap okay front left pocket has iPhone because I use it with my left hand yep and it has two other items in it it has a regular pen and it has a stylus so that's the front left pocket pop front left pocket front right pocket I have keys and I have wallet is in front right pocket yep and depending on the day sometimes I have a notebook in my back pocket but usually not usually the back pockets are empty because you need to sit down and you don't need to sit down on an uneven surface for years I used to have my wallet in my back pocket and then I just made a dedicated change and said no wallet you're going to go in the front pocket and this is obviously a superior experience although it took a hell of a long time to get used to let me tell you that was a several month transition where I wasn't constantly tapping my back back pocket and thinking oh god someone stole my wallet oh no it's in my front pocket but now you move to a superior pocket experience this is a much superior pocket experience except here's the thing here's the real problem Brady the iPhone 6 is just big enough that it makes it untenable to have it in the same pocket with the two pens yeah so now the two pens need to go somewhere where are these pens going to go I don't know it's pens can't go in the back pockets now can they no so there's only one option which is the front right pocket yeah but the front right you want to put your shirt pocket I'm gonna take the step right you're already pretty nerdy take the step get the pocket protector do it you don't even want to have a discussion with me about shirt pockets there will be here it's already been a long time we'll be here for a lot let's just something that I only you would say is you don't want to have a discussion with me about shirt pockets for the moment for the moment let's just assume that shirt pocket is not available so I mean I don't know who hand center is but I know a lot about shirt pockets okay so where are the pens gonna go the only place they can possibly go is front right pocket yeah but now front right pocket has keys wallet and pens it's entirely too too busy in front right pocket sometimes there's also coins in there as well so don't mistake yeah this is this is all kinds of terrible dog poo bags if you're me that's disgusting um not with poo in them oh okay I was in the back they're in the back pocket I was looking tiny to our poo can fit in your front pocket and I Lily Lily uh Lily lose the problem there the greyhound yeah and so the problem is do I have to move my wallet back to one of the back pocket because something something has to give from that front pocket I mean that there's a the nostalgia of that would be nice but I think that would be a retrograde step you mean you you've moved to the superior pocket experience I don't think you can yeah I don't think you can go back I can't go back no I obviously you are the man you are the man who describes books as dead trees what on earth are you doing with a pen in the first place uh the pen is is surprisingly handy but even even if I tried because the pen is the least frequently used object so I thought okay let me try it without the pen it does it actually doesn't help because just the stylus and the iPhone is still too much why have you got a stylus because surely if you've got stylus you need it for your iPad if you've got your iPad can't you store the stylus where you're storing the iPad you you forget that I I you I have my stylus or sorry I have my iPads with me all the time the problem is I've too often run into the situation where I just I don't have the stylus when I need it so I need to know that I always have it with me so why I need to be in a pocket you need to know where you start let's see it's yeah it's it's it's we can talk about my my redundant bag system sometime um just it's hard going into super levels of crazy because this is just the beginning um right you know what I love what that that although you know how crazy this makes you sound it fills you with so much joy you keep going anyway because it's love it no it's not it's not joy I want to have this settled and clear and this this occupies my mind intensely and so ever since I got this iPhone 6 every morning it's like my pocket system is thrown into utter disarray I don't know what to do and I don't just have the like the clear habit of it just everything goes in the right pockets and I don't even think about it now I have to think about this every morning and it's like oh well depending on what jacket I have maybe I'll put my phone in the check and it's just it's disaster you need a system that is the same every morning so I don't know what's going to happen but I have always absolutely hated wallets just needing to carry a wallet has always made me very angry I don't like all the things in the wallet and now I find myself just furious at the existence of a wallet like why do I need to carry you wallet I don't like I don't like this at all I don't like all the cards that I have to have in here and now I'm having this crisis of there's no place to put the wallet it's not going to go in my back pocket I don't I don't know how to rearrange all of these things just the the pocket reshuffle is something that the iPhone 6 has forced upon me and it has made me extremely extremely grumpy and I don't know what to do doesn't the wallet make you feel like give you a nice man feeling though like I remember when I was a boy like I was so jealous of my dad's wallet like I dreamed of the day where I needed a wallet to the point where you know you would have a wallet even when you had no money or cards because you wanted to be like your dad yeah exactly every every young boy is done that exact same thing you know you get a wallet and you think I have no money to put inside yeah but now I feel grown up yeah like so having a wallet is like a it's a right of passage it's like a it's a I guess the novelty has worn off now yeah that's it yeah yeah no very when you're in your 30s okay now I don't need to carry this thing and I've always hated the wall and this is why I also look at the iPhone 6 and I think man you can't bring on these mobile payments fast enough for me because I honest to God I go through my wallet every couple of months and just obsessively try to think about how many more items I can possibly remove from this wallet and on the occasions when I can reduce the number of cards that I carry by one that is an enormous celebration or honest to God when I quit my teaching job one of the greatest pleasures of that was I was able to remove three keys from my key ring I thought this is this is great I'm constantly trying to get these things down to the smallest number possible this is this whole conversation is such a good example of why my wife secretly wishes that she was married to you because you are her perfect man like I have so many keys and my wife says what an earth all those keys for and like she says like what does that one do and I have a few keys that I don't know what they do but I don't want to take them off my key ring because one day I might remember or they might be important or something so like I have I have a few keys and I just don't know what they are but I just carry them on my key ring anyway and like and every time we leave the house like she I can never find my wallet on my phone on my keys and I never know where they are because I don't have like a set place no you have to set a landing pad no well I don't have that well yes okay now you're sending exactly like my wife she's like you should have I'm like oh where are they that could be here or there no there's only be one place where they can be they are they are there or they are on you right now the place doesn't matter you just pick a place no that's not how I work when I next time I'm at your house I'm going to pick a place for you okay I won't I just can't but you'll just totally ignore it yeah it's not like I don't see that I'm just not I'm just not a creature of habit and routine I'm just not I can't do routine it's not like I think I'm like James Dean Mr. Rebel and no one contain me I just I'll put my wallet anywhere yeah it's not that it's just that I I'm just not a routine guy I just don't have I just don't have routine you know like I envy I envy you that sometimes yeah but you can also see that the same the same the same kinds of things that you were saying are enn for people I also clearly become a prisoner of these of these thoughts right of yes of course of basically taking everything out of my wallet like I'm field stripping a gun laying all the parts out in front of me on a table staring at them and thinking is there any way that I can reduce two of these to one of these oh and I went on a trip recently what wasn't recently it was that Vietnam trip that we spoke about around the time the podcast started and there was an older chap on the bus with us and he he was a top guy but he had this one idiosyncrasy where he was obsessed with counting money and he had all this Vietnamese currency so he had quite a high the numbers were quite high because the current because the nature of the currency so you've got thousands and thousands of right right whatever the I can't even remember what the currency was but every 10 minutes he would have to count how much there was how much he had and then we'd be pedaling along on the bus we wouldn't have even been out of the bus here he can't have spent the money and he'd have to he'd have to discount it again he just had to counter to know for sure what it was yeah but you could wind him up too so he'd counter oh great yeah and then you'd say that's sure are you sure that's what it was and then you have to get a add like counter again that's great that's great that's great they're kicking someone while they're down somebody's actual OCD you don't want to oh let me just inject a tiny bit of doubt into their mind won't that be funny did you really turn the stove off that wasn't that I thought yeah that's inappropriate yeah but like I said this stuff circles circles my latest project which every time I come home I think about and I try to put this out of my mind but I look at my door and I realize well I could get rid of two keys on my key ring because you can buy these doors these door bolts that are activated by your iPhone by proximity to the iPhone and so I keep thinking should I get one of these things on the door now the problems are that I don't own the apartment that I'm in I'm renting this place and I'm trying to do the calculations of what are the likelihood of the of the owners of the place noticing that I have swapped out the keys it's something like before I'm actually going to to leave this place I'm trying to think can I get could I get a locksmith to come and install the wireless door bolts and then also leave me the bolts and then replace them before I move out all of this just to reduce two keys from my key ring but I cannot tell you how pleasurable it would be to be able to take those final two keys off and be like screw you guys I don't need to carry you around every day of my life anymore I've moved on to the future with a superior wireless locking technology all right I'm not going to say what I want to say because I know what happened let me let me ask another question though yeah what if your phone goes dead I have redundant systems in place to have that covered yeah so I have the ability to charge my phone outside of my house you have to have redundant systems in a case like that and also many of these not all of them but many of the locking systems have a have a fallback numeric punch code that you can also use yeah of course so that is a possibility as well but yes I do want to make sure that there's a there's a way that I can always charge my home I'll say it I'll say it isn't there something nice about case oh they're just nice they're nice things they're nice objects no you don't think the key is just a nice object and there's something taking away you know there's something satisfying about using a key they're just like they're just a nice thing they're like a they're they're kind of pretty and they're they've got like a heritage and they're kind of associated with mystery and safes and unlocking and code breaking and all stuff and like they're just keys are nice things like when I go to like antiques fairs and stuff I just love looking at old keys and I don't want to world without case is this why you have all of these keys that you carry around you have bought random keys and empty stores and then added them to your key ring and then you forget later on which are the real keys and which are not the real keys is that why you have some janitorial ring with 50 keys on it is that is that what's going on you just reminded me of something to to I mean this has got nothing to do with what we're talking about I was listening to whenever I would podcast the other day and and I like I spend so much time talking to people from different countries and stuff I tend to think that the novelty of language has gone away and you said something that made me feel oh made me realize you're American and I'm not you refer to janitor and when you said that and I was listening to that I was like wow that's like he's American and I'm not and that was that's the first I think that's one of the first times in years that I've spoken to one of my American friends and had that feeling what were would you use I don't know cleaner or something I'm not the word janitor and there was just something about the way you said it was when we were talking about um black mirror and you were talking about the janitors oh yeah yeah and I was like ah yeah he's he's different to me he uses language differently sometimes you just reminded me I meant to bring it up I meant to bring it up like about four or five times and I kept forgetting and you just said janitorial so just reminded me yes that's that I am indeed an American yeah or as born and raised in America you were just it was just a little thing so I just been meaning to bring it up and we fit like I'm sorry I like keys I'm sorry that the iPhone's a bit big for you um I don't know what I don't know the solution to your pocket problem I think it's probably unnecessary for you to have the stylus in your pocket and unnecessary for you to have a pen and whatever you're using to carry around your iPad which you say is always with you I suggest you put your pen and your stylus in that thing is it some kind of backpack or baggy carry I don't know but that's where you should put those rather than your pocket it's not a good idea to have a pen in your pocket anyway because if it leaks you're going to get inkle over your trousers I have been carrying a pen in my pocket for ten years yeah I don't think I've ever had a single leak well it could happen tomorrow|}

==Episode List==

References[edit | edit source]

  1. "H.I. #22: 16-hour Search for Wallpaper". Hello Internet. Hello Internet. Retrieved 12 October 2017.