H.I. No. 3: Four Light Bulbs: Difference between revisions
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Grey: That's- that is kind of my thought, but I'm- I'm not- my point is that I think, under certain circumstances, it is helpful to think about things in a very conscious, very deliberate way, and to eliminate guilt in other areas of your life if you need to focus on one area very intensely.
Brady: Well... I'm not buying it.
Grey: You're not buying it? Tell me why.
Brady: No, I'm not buying it. Well, I understand the logic of what you're saying. And it sounds familiar to some things that I say in my life, you know, I often make the argument that my obsession with work is the reason I've enjoyed a modicum of success with my work. And that's kind of what you're saying, you're saying, you know, "Because I've devoted so much energy to work, I've become more successful at it". But I think deciding not to be guilty about neglecting important things--
Grey: Mm-hmm?
Brady: --doesn't change the fact you are neglecting them. And when you neglect things, you harm them.
Grey: Yes.
Brady: So if you have a car and you decide not to service it or put oil in it or anything for a while, but you make a conscious decision not to feel bad about that,--
Grey: Mm-hmm.
Brady: --that doesn't mean that eventually the engine is not going to seize up and the car will break.
Grey: Mm-hmm.
Brady: And I think if you neglect your health, or you neglect your relationships, just because you're not feeling guilty about it, doesn't mean you're not damaging them. And I think that is what people like us should bear in mind. And I'm- I'm- pre- I find this very funny because I often have conversations like this with fellow YouTubers,--
Grey: Mm-hmm?
Brady: --when I see how obsessive they are and I say, "You know what? You should think about the other aspects of your life". And the funny thing is, I then don't practice what I preach, and I'm probably the worst offender. So don't think--
Grey: Yeah, but preaching,--
Brady:
Grey: --preaching is much easier than practicing.
Brady: Yeah. So don't think I'm being high and mighty about this.
Grey: No, no, not at all.
Brady: But I- but I think- I think what I just said, I think just because- just because you're conscious of that neglect, and you've made a decision to neglect, it doesn't mean that neglect couldn't be harmful. Do you disagree?
Grey: No. I- I completely agree. And it's- it's one of the areas where, uh, I think that analogy with light bulbs doesn't pan out perfectly. Because, um, I can't- I can't remember, uh, where I first heard this analogy, but talking about interpersonal relationships as kind of like, bank accounts in the sense that, you know, if you spend time with someone, you're kind of investing into this friendship bank account, and there may be times when you're not available, or you're not being a good friend, and you can kind of "draw" to some extent on those previous investments,--
Brady: Hmm.
Grey: --but at some point, the bank account runs out, right?
Brady: Yeah.
Grey: And then it is irredeemable at that point, right? You reached, like, friendship bankruptcy.
Brady: Yeah.
Grey: Um,- and so I- I am totally with you on this. Uh,--
Brady: Right.
Grey: I agree, and, uh, I think that part of making hard decisions in life is coming to grips with areas in your life, which you're sort of willing to possibly have damage happen. And that's why when, um, I was focusing mainly on YouTube, uh, you know, I'm going to probably through the course of this conversation have a bunch of numbers that don't add up to one hundred percent.
Brady: [chuckles]
Grey: But- right? But let's- let's just say that basically, like, eighty percent of my effort was on work,--
Brady: Mm-hmm.
Grey: --and sort of twenty percent was on family.
Brady: Right.
Grey: Because- all right? I am very happy with my marriage and not willing to risk long term damage to the marriage, right?
Brady: Yeah.
Grey: And so that light bulb can't be zero, because that, like, that is consequences that I'm not willing to accept, right? But in a- in a period where I have a lot of- a lot of things that need to get done and a limited amount of time and energy to do them, if I'm not willing to make any sacrifices on the family side of things, and I need to have an enormous amount of energy into the work side of things, something has to get cut. And that's- that's where I- I sort of find this- this analogy is- is useful. Um, and-
Brady: So the thing- so basically the thing you're saying's B.S., the thing that you think is the impossible dream--
Grey: Mm-hmm.
Brady: -is to be hugely successful at work and maintain those other aspects of life hugely successfully as well.
Grey: Yeah, I--
Brady: To be the best friend in the world, to the best husband in the world, to be a ripped athlete with--
Grey: [chuckles]
Brady: --incredible six pack and be making the best YouTube videos in the whole world. It's im--
Grey: Yeah.
Brady: It's physically impossible to do everything.
Grey: I- I honestly think that that is the case. Um, now there- there are some people who have great success in very many fields, and I'm always very interested to read about people who have come- become successful and- and what they get up to. Um, so- but I think that that is- that is definitely the case, you can't be the best friend in the world to all of your friends, and the best husband, and the best at work, and incredibly healthy all at the same time.
Brady: Yeah, but of course you can't, that's why it's called balance.
Grey: [laughs]
Brady. Or work life balance--
Grey: Right.
Brady: --because you decide how much weight to apportion to the different things.
Grey: [laughing] Right. But I guess- I guess what I'm- what I'm saying is- is that, apportioning equal balance to all things ends up in- in kind of mediocre results in all of them.
Brady: Yeah.
Grey: And I think that that is totally fine, right? I do not begrudge anyone who says "right, twenty-five across the board". I think that is a totally reasonable decision.
Brady 30:38
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